Insanity
is exactly where im headed. i cant wrap my brain around the essential reason as to why i hurt continuously. every song, every breath, every picture, everything, and every day i just break. its so weird. i cant seem to find a smile thats real anymore. well being here in this god forsaken city. i miss what i had. my friends, school, apt, life. and i made one choice they destroyed it all. and now im here. alone. fighting to gain back what i lost. i lost hope. dreams. maybe even faith. perhaps love as well. the only ones i truly trust are an hour away from me. living our lives without each other there everyday. those two are all i have holding on to some sort of truth and trust. its all i have left. and what if i lose that? where do i go? what do i believe in? i just feel like going away. for a long time. i want to find me. find out how to make myself happy. and im not sure i know how to do that. and i have to figure all this out on my own. i can be guided but no one can give me answers beisdes me. ugh. life itself is such a fucking mystery and why the hell are we placed here?! ugh!
josh.
